The real point of this post is to introduce a new feature I hope to implement every once in a while, called "The High Five". I kind of stole the idea from another blog on another website, but I'm sure (hopefully) the author won't mind. Basically, The High Five is a series of five objects, events, people, places, etc. that I currently find to be very cool, and thus, I will be telling you about them in moderate detail. Also look for the upcoming "Low Five". I'm sure you can guess what that is.
THE HIGH FIVE - Nov. 2007
5. The month of November:
November is essentially the best month in the world of video games. Every November, a boatload of awesome games are shipped to retail, at which point, the consumer (Me) is able to jump into their fruity goodness (I'm not sure why they're fruity). This year, November is bringing us such frantastic (that's not a typo) titles as Super Mario Galaxy, Assassin's Creed, Rock Band, Mass Effect, and Call of Duty 4 just to name a few. Yes, November is a sweet, sweet month, which we shall cherish by suckling at its generous game spewing teat.
4. The Grindhouse:
This movie came out some time last April in the theaters as a three hour long, super-awesome double-feature horror film. The first movie in the Grindhouse, directed by the one and only Quentin Tarantino (Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill, etc.) is aptly named "Death Proof". It entails the shenanigans of a silly (and oh so disturbed) stunt man who's one true purpose in life is to mow down poor, unsuspecting, sexy ladies in his crazy-ass, "death proof" stunt car. The second feature revolves around a rag-tag group of survivors in the aftermath of a bio-weapons experiment that went horribly, horribly wrong. It's called "Planet Terror" and is the spawn of director Robert Rodriguez (Sin City, Spy Kids). Both flicks are awesome and definitely must-see, now that they are both out on DVD.
3. Phantom Hourglass:
My apologies to all you phools who thought Nintendo couldn't pull it off, but you were wrong. Complete touch control works in a Zelda game. And it works well. The control is fluid, responsive, and incredible. You can draw the path of your boomerang, the swipe of your sword, and much more. This game was built from the ground up specifically for the Nintendo DS system, and it shows. Not once have I thought to myself during my experience (so far), "Now I wish I could've used a D-Pad here." The stylus works perfectly in almost every regard, however, I do think they could have used a button for rolling, and sometimes the stylus can get in the way of the action, but otherwise, it is nearly flawless. I can't believe its taken a developer this long to fully utilize the DS's capabilities in such an amazing and clever way. 9/10
2. Steve Carell:
This guy is hilarious. If you don't know who he is, you deserve a shotgun round to the head. Watch "The Office". It's the best comedy on TV right now, and he's a big part of what makes it so great. If you haven't seen "40 Year Old Virgin" by now, now's as good a time as any. And his new movie, "Dan in Real Life", is exceptional. Don't be fooled by its seemingly touchy-feely exterior, because even though this isn't one of his slapstick, crazy-ass comedies, it's still damn good. Both my brother and I were pleasantly surprised. 8/10
1. Drivin' mah Car:
HOLY CRUDMUFFINS! I'MMAH BE ABLE TO DRIVE ALL BY MAHSLEF IN LESS THAN TEH MONTHZORz!!1!!111!!1!!1 Sorry about that. But it's true. And I CAN'T F@#$ING WAIT! I will be free. FREE! So y'all better start sucking up to me if you wanna go places (Hint: I like candy).
That's all folks. Till next time, I'm...
-Funkin' Out
8 comments:
sorry, but motion and touch control fail for zelda when it comes to items and doing the classic "smack the enrgyball back with the sword" parts
i found the most annoying part of phantom hour glass is when you tap to use and item, AND CANT FUCKING MOVE allowing all the baddies near you to have an open gangbang. and no its not as simple as just tapping to move again, you need to press the item button to exit item mode, and then start moving.
next to that is that, since moving and attacking are both in the same thing its hard to do both at once, espeacialy when you need to aim at a moving energyball that ISNT contrary to all other of its appearances in zelda games, homing towards you.
all in all, i would be fine with it if they stopped taking good games and re-fitting them for "casual-gamers", in my opinion casual gamers shouldnt be playing the legend of zelda or metroid.
hell, metroid prime 3 is supposed to be challenging but i havnt died once yet, and phantomhour glass's final boss could easily be beat with the starting amount of health (3 hearts) since your retarded if it actualy manages to hit you with its slow, obvious attacks that somtimes dont even do damage untill your touching them for a full second. and if you are..your reaction time sucks
Wow. That was moderately intelligent. Which reall is something, coming from schnelly (I kid!).
Actually, I didn't have a problem wit the energy ball thing. Sure, it hit me a few times, but its not supposed to be easy. I just ran up to it and slashed at it and it seemed to work fine. The fact that they don't home just made it more (or less, depending on how you look at it) challenging.
On the matter of not being able to move while equiping items, well, this is true. But it doesn't matter. You know why? Because you can press "L" at any time to equip your selected item and release it to unequip it instantly. Apparently you didn't know that. But it makes it very easy to run, quickly fire off some arrows, then run off again, without having to dick around with the touch screen.
As for games being made for the casual gamer, this is only partly true. While phantom hourglass was toned down in difficulty (it's very easy) its still (almost) just as fun. Twilight Princess was also given this treatment (which pisses me off). This is mostly due to Nintendo's new "casual gamer" obsession that it's adopted for the Wii and DS. And so far its earning them boatloads of moolah.
After all, there's a shit load more non-gamers in the world than there are gamers, and Nintendo is just trying to cash in on that fact. Yes, it pisses me off, but we're still getting great games so its not that big a deal (yet). I mean look at Mario Galaxy, and SSBB. These are definitely hardcore games for hardcore gamers.
Hopefully Nintendo will get off its fat, greedy, ass and realize that there's still money in the hardcore gamer. Meanwhile, I've still got my Xbox 360 and the ocassional awesome Wii game.
(Wow, I should do a blog post just on that)
Um, perhaps next time you could have a little less about video games and television and horror movies. Seeing has I'm not really interested (horror movies) and/or don't have access to (television; a DS; video games in general). I mean, these things are all well and good, and even inspired Schnelli to make a nearly coherent comment, a remarkable feat (not that he doesn't have the brainz - it's usually the motivation he lacks). But you have a diverse array of readers, Master Funk*, and their needs should not be neglected.
That said, I think I'm going to like this High Five thing. Keep up the good work. Or athletic laziness. Whatever.
Also, what kind of candy do you prefer?
-Alice
*or should I call you the Funk Master. Ohhh. Your mom. Ok, I'm done.
ps: That whole "generous game spewing teat" thing was really quite disturbing. As in, extremely uncool.
Hi Mr.Cole. Drive me places. I will be good...promise!
Steve Carell= Awesome!! One of the funniest actors! You know what movie I want to see? "I now pronounce you Chuck and Lary" With Kevin James and Adam Sandler. It looks funny. "Are you and daddy homosexticals?" LOLOL
I like the new high 5 thing, and I can't wait for the low 5! I sure hope Alice is on that list!!
~Fern
if u drive me places ill let u have some sexy time with fatman =D xD
also alice its schnelly with a Y not an I >=(
Yeah, alice. Jeez. Learn to spell.
Um, ya...thanks but no thanks, Chase. I think I'll pass.
cammon mr cole u know u wanna, he is ur bosom buddy afterall XD
IMMAH FIRIN MAH FECEAL MATTER
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