Say Buh-bye Summer!

Okay, it's the last seven minutes of August, so I have to make a quick blog post to bring my score up to "4" for the month. Don't worry, I'll do another "real" post in the next few days, but this should tide you over.

I just got back from a quick trip to a little island with my darling family (neices mostly). 'Twas alright. I guess. It's kinda hard to see anything as "fun" when you have to go back to school in a few days. I did get a wicked injury though; I went flying over my handlebars while biking down a trail and landed in some gravel. It was pretty bloody. I've got the bandage to prove it:

Oh noez! Cole is in distress!

Uh oh, I only have one more minute of August, so I better post this now. Well guys, I'll see ya in September! Have a good one.

-Funkin' Out

Too Many Miis: Part 1

As summer slowly draws to a close, I give my adoring fans what they've always wanted: strange cartoon like video game caricatures of themselves and random celebrities/characters. I've actually had these "Miis" for a while now, and was planning on making a blog post about them for quite some time. Well, now's as good a time as any!

So, without further ado, I present to you: zee MIIS!!!11!!1!

Why do the pants come up so high? Are they hiding something?

This is me, as you can no doubt see from the name. Alas, I couldn't quite get the Mii maker to capture my astonishing good looks. Well, it's still pretty sexy anyway. After all, he is wearing an orange shirt; how much cooler can you get?


Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! Oh, wait--nevermind, it's just Schnelly.

Did you know that "Andrew" means "manly"? NOW YOU KNOW!

Here's what Chase looks like after a long night of Mario Karting. Don't even get him started on those 114 hours of Pokemon Diamond. He might just stab you in the knee...no, I suppose he's not really the violent type, is he?

Enthusiastic, ain't he?

Speaking of violence, check out this sexy Mii of Fern. I'm sure he'll be very pleased.

He comes with a red hat, ladies

You know, you should probably show this pic to that girl you like. I'm sure she'd be very impressed. Now what was her name again? R....Raa....Rach--no, that's not it. It was Peas, wasn't it? Fern really likes Peas.


OH EMM GEEZ! RUN! HIDE! SAVE YOURSELVES! WE WILL SURELY DIE IF GODZIRRA FINDS US! PLEASE GOD! PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON OUR POOR SOULS!!! I kid! You can't look like Godzirra if you aren't green!

You can probably guess who this one is.

Last, but most certainly not least (not quite anyway), I give you Fish.

Don't it look just like him?

Ah, good old Fish. That Mii makes me laugh every time. I might have made him a bit too short tho; I'll have to fix that. Poor guy. His Xbox broke. We feel for you, buddy, we really do. Well, off to play some Halo then? No, just teasing Fish. But you really do need to get a Live subscription. How else are you gonna whore those turrets?

That's all for now folks, but be sure to tune in next week (or whenever I get around to it) for part two of this epic journey through the crazy alternate dimension of the Miis!

-Funkin' Out

Mid-Monther

Ya, it's been a couple weeks since my last blog entry. I'm so very sorry. It won't happen again. Except it probably will, so don't getch'er panties in a twist. I've been...well, I can hardly say busy, can I? I've been doing pretty much nothing since I got back from my last trip, and it's been pretty boring. BOOOORING. I have been playing a lot of Oblivion. I mean a LOT. That game is @#$%ING HUGE! Seriously you could pour a hundred hours into it and still only have done half the things the game has to offer. Along with the main storyline, there are basically four more entire games shoved into the package: The Fighter's Guild, Mage's Guild, Thieve's Guild (shh...that's not supposed to exist) and the Dark Brotherhood. And you can't forget the Arena. There's another at least 3 or 4 hours.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is that this game is massive. If you ever happen to have lost your life and have hundreds of free hours and an Xbox 360 or PC handy, BUY THIS GAME. If you have a life, I advise you to STAY AWAY. Because it will consume you, digest you, spew you out its rear end, and move on to some other helpless victim.

Oblivion, however, was not the reason I started writing this post. No, this was supposed to be an update on what is currently pissing me off. So I will begin now.

The movie industry seems to have it right. Films are always released to the theatres on Friday, or sometimes Saturday. They know that that's when people have the time to go see a movie. They understand this, and it allows them to make bucket loads of money on their opening weekend.

For some strange reason, though, the videogame industry hasn't quite caught on to this concept. They seem to think that buy releasing their games in the middle of the week, people will have time to play them. This pisses me off.

No, Mr. Miyamoto, TUESDAY IS NOT A GOOD DAY FOR ME TO PLAY ZELDA. I HAVE SCHOOL AND/OR WORK ON TUESDAY. TUESDAY IS NOT GOING TO WORK. Seriously, have you ever noticed that games NEVER come out on weekends? You don't believe me? Okay, I will list off a FEW of the upcoming offenders.

-Bioshock, Tuesday, Aug. 21
-Metroid Prime 3, Monday, Aug. 27
-Halo 3, Tuesday, Sept. 25
-Batallion Wars 2, Monday, Oct. 29
-Super Mario Galaxy, Monday, Nov. 12
-Assassin's Creed, Tuesday, Nov. 13
-Super Smash Bros Brawl, Monday, Dec. 3

These are not games I specifically picked because they all come out on Monday and Tuesday. I thought of each one randomly (they all look like they're gonna be awesome) and checked a calendar to match up their release dates. I don't understand it. There must be some reason for it! Why would they all come out at the beginning of the week, just so we have to wait around until Friday or Saturday just to get in a few hours of playing time? I think they're taunting us. They know we can't do anything about it, so they release them on TUESDAY and watch us squirm for the rest of the week. The love it. They get a kick out of it. Those bastards.

-Funkin' out

Home again, and another update

Well children, I'm back from my little trip. No, it wasn't that long actually. It was fun though. House boating is definitely hardcore. You should have seen the party boat that pulled up beside us on the last night. Man, they were WASTED! It was hilarious. And it's really hard to hang on to the back of a sea-doo. I think it's actually easier to hold on if your being pulled behind it on a tube. Which shouldn't be the case. Anyhoo....(that's not a real word) :(

I saw the Simpsons movie already, so....sorry if you wanted to see it. My brother wanted go and who was I to turn down a chance to see the Simpsons movie? It was good, so you should definitely check that out. Lol....Spiderpig! Priceless.


What really angers me though, are the brain-dead people in the theatre that laugh at every single little joke, even if it isn't very funny. It starts to get annoying. And they cheered when the movie started. And clapped when it finished. WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?? I don't get it. They're just stupid...it's not like the director, or actors, or anyone who made the film, for that matter, are in the room to hear the applause. Who are they applauding? The screen? The guy upstairs changing the film reels? If I ever clap after a movie in a theatre, please shoot me in the knee. Because I'll deserve it.

HALO 3 UPDATE:

Co-op functionality revealed! Yes, it will be online co-op. But it gets better. It won't be just for 2 people. Or 3. No, Halo 3 co-op is compatible with up to FOUR players! I can taste the superduper hardcore uberness right now. Now Schnelly and Fish better get their Xboxes and Live accounts cuz I'm gonna be playing some HALO ONLINE CO-OP ON LEGENDARY, BABY! AND WE'ZE GONNZA PWN THOZE BRUTE BITCHES INTO TEH GROUNDzORz!!1!!1!1 Hellz ya.

September 25th, children, September 25th.

Alright I think I'mmah gonna wrap this baby up now. Unless I can think of anything else to say. Other than I'm going to be very bored for a while, what with everyone being away on summer holidays and me being....here. I hope something interesting happens. I've already spent one day doing nothing, I don't know how much more I can take. Oh wellz. At least I've still got Resident Evil 4 to finish off. I'll see y'all 'round.

-Funkin' out